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Ya mum


Ya mum’s so fat jokes

Ya mums so fat when she went on a diet Mcdonalds ran out of food

Yo mums so fat when she steps on a scale it say’s I want your weight not your phone number

Ya mums so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl

Ya mums so fat, your fridge is your lunch box 

Ya mums so fat, people mistaked your dress for a circus tent

 Ya mums is so fat when she orderd a water bed they had to put a over the ocean

Ya mums so fat, when she stood up people thought it was an eclipse

Ya mums so fat she sank The Titanic

Ya mums so fat that when she jumped in the water the water jumped out

Ya mums so fat when she fell down the Grand Canyon she got stuck

Ya mums so fat every time she turns around its christmas

Ya mums so fat that when she sat down people in China thought it was an Earthquake

Ya mums so fat  that when shes wearing a yellow shirt people shout ”TAXI!’

Ya mums is so fat, not even God can lift her spirits

Ya mums so fat that when shes in the bath we have to grease the bathtub to get her out

Ya mum is so fat she tried to get a full body tan but the sun burnt out

Ya mums so fat that when she had surgery she bled gravey

Ya mum so fat she took her clothes to the dry cleaners
and they said ‘Sorry we dont take curtains’

Ya mums so fat she stepped of the curb I swerved my car around her and ran out of gas

Ya mums so fat shes on both sides of the family

Ya mums so fat her belt size is ‘Equator’

Ya mums so fat she stepped off a curb, a bus hit her so she turned around and said ‘Stop pushing’

Ya mums so fat she uses the driveway as an ironing board

I went for a 50 mile jog yesterday. 2 laps round ya mum

Ya mum’s so stupid jokes

Ya mum is so stupid she studied for a blood test

Ya mums so stupid she took a CD back to the shop because it had a hole in it

Ya mums so stupid she tried to drown a fish

Ya mums so stupid when she found out 90% of all crimes happened at home, she moved house

Ya mums so stupid when she was in a 99p shop she asked ‘How much is this’

Ya mums so stupid that when the bar tender said ‘Drinks are on the house’ she climbed up on the roof

Ya mums so stupid she called me to get my phone number

Ya mums so stupid she sent me a letter to get my address

Ya mums so stupid that she sits on the T.V and watches the sofa

Ya mums so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout

Ya mums so stupid thats she climb over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

Ya mums so stupid, she stole a free loaf of bread

Ya mums so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the superbowl

Ya mums so stupid she tried to kill a bird by pushing it of a cliff

Ya mum is so stupid when she missed the 44 bus she took the 22 bus twice

Ya mum is so stupid she starved to death when she got trapped in a supermarket

Ya mum is so stupid she spent 30 minutes looking at an apple juice carton because it said “concentrate”

Ya mum is so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in aphabetical order

Ya mum’s so old jokes

Ya mums so old, her birth certificate reads ‘Expired’

Ya mums so old she sat next to Jesus in 3rd grade

Ya mums so old if I told her to act her age she would die…

Other Ya mum jokes

Ya mum is so ugly she shaves her arm pits with a lawn mower

Ya mums so greasy companies buy their Oil from her

Ya mums so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her – he’d rather live as a frog

Ya mums so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone

Plz comment if you have anymore, and we will add them as quick as we can

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41 Responses to “Ya mum”

  1. si said

    if i told ur mum to ack her age she would die

  2. martha said

    ur mum is soooo stupid she took a cd back because it had a hole in it

  3. simon hack W00T!!! said

    who the helll is mmmmmmmaaaaaarrrrtttthhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    …..

  4. si said

    ya mum is so stupid she said JOHN

  5. Holz xx said

    Ya mum is sooooo fat everytime she turns round its christmas!!!!!! xx

  6. zoe said

    Ur mums so stupid she bought a polo back to da shop coz it had a hole in it

  7. Amel xx said

    lool
    simons comment makes me laugh :
    ya mum is so stupid she said JOHN
    what da hell is dat about
    but its funny keep up da funny jkes ( not )
    xx

  8. Amel xx said

    at least i think si is simon loolz
    xx

  9. Rob said

    ur all gay except sam! love the jokes thought

  10. Holz xx said

    Wat u ppl r RANDOM!
    WTF r u all talkin bout (ROB, SIMON ‘N’ AMEL)
    looooooooool
    xx

  11. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Yo Mama’s so fat when she steps on a scale it say’s I want your weight not your phone number
    lol xx

  12. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Yo Mama’s so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl
    lol xxxxxx

  13. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Your mama’s so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone! tehe!!

  14. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Yo mama’s so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

  15. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Yo’ Mum so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her – he’d rather live as a frog.
    loooollllllllll

  16. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    Your Mamma is so ugly she shaves her arm pits with a lawn mower

  17. geesh rox my sox babyy=p said

    i am on a roll here, u guys shld employ me!
    xx

  18. Rachel =) said

    I got one!
    Ya mum is so stupid she starved to death when she got trapped in a supermarket!

  19. Rachel =) said

    Ya mum is so stupid when she missed the 44 bus she took the 22 bus twice!

  20. Rachel =) said

    Ya mum is so stupid she studies for a blood test!

  21. Rachel =) said

    Woop woop! I’m doing well!

  22. Rachel =) said

    Ya mum is so stupid she spent 30 minutes looking at an apple juice carton because it said “concerntrate” on it!

  23. Rachel =) said

    Ya mum is so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in aphabetical order!

  24. Rachel =) said

    Ya mum is so stupid, when she heard that 90% of all crimes occured around the house, she moved!

  25. Rachel =) said

    Can’t think of any more………umm…….If i do think of some more “ya mum’s” i will send them to u !

  26. claudi =] said

    ya mum’s so stupid she studied 4 a blood test!

  27. xx Kiaya Babeyy xx said

    HAHAHA ,, DATTS IZZ LIKE THE FUNNYIST THANNG !! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH …. IM SHATTIN MYSELF LAFFIN NO JKS !! X

  28. Esther said

    ur mums so old she got an a+++ on a project about dinosaurs

    lol that was a crap one xxxx

  29. si said

    sure was estherererererererer

    im soooooooo bored at the mo

    its weird but it makes me kinda depressed

  30. bethyslittleworld said

    your mum is so dumb she threw a ball at the ground and missed lolx

  31. Issy =P said

    yo mama’s so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie!!!

    =P love meet the spartans!!! =P

  32. Issy =P said

    yo mama’s so fat that when she farts the world accuses her of global warming!!!

  33. Georgiaisbessht said

    ya mums so fat she turned one size fits all into one size fits most…
    classic 🙂
    x

  34. Georgiaisbessht said

    Your mum is so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

  35. Georgiaisbessht said

    Your mum is so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

  36. Georgiaisbessht said

    Your mums armpits are so hairy, she looks likes she has bob marley in aheadlock

  37. Georgiaisbessht said

    Your mum is so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say “Wow, is it Halloween already?”

  38. Georgiaisbessht said

    Your mum is so ugly she made an onion cry

  39. Georgiaisbessht said

    Yo momma’s so fat when she went in the ocean water the whales started singing: “we are family”

  40. Georgiaisbessht said

    woooooooooooooooah look at me go :D:D:D
    sleepless in seattle….
    yuuh such a little gurl deep down rnt yah sam ?
    :p

  41. Georgiaisbessht said

    Yo Mama’s so fat she cant jump to conclusions
    ^ i cnt think of anymoree:(
    got most ov dem off leon
    :)x

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