Ya mum

Ya mum’s so fat jokes

Ya mums so fat when she went on a diet Mcdonalds ran out of food

Yo mums so fat when she steps on a scale it say’s I want your weight not your phone number

Ya mums so fat she needs a lifeguard for her ceareal bowl

Ya mums so fat, your fridge is your lunch box 

Ya mums so fat, people mistaked your dress for a circus tent

 Ya mums is so fat when she orderd a water bed they had to put a over the ocean

 

Ya mums so fat, when she stood up people thought it was an eclipse

Ya mums so fat she sank The Titanic

Ya mums so fat that when she jumped in the water the water jumped out

Ya mums so fat when she fell down the Grand Canyon she got stuck

Ya mums so fat every time she turns around its christmas

Ya mums so fat that when she sat down people in China thought it was an Earthquake

Ya mums so fat  that when shes wearing a yellow shirt people shout ”TAXI!’

Ya mums is so fat, not even God can lift her spirits

Ya mums so fat that when shes in the bath we have to grease the bathtub to get her out

Ya mum is so fat she tried to get a full body tan but the sun burnt out

Ya mums so fat that when she had surgery she bled gravey

Ya mum so fat she took her clothes to the dry cleaners
and they said ‘Sorry we dont take curtains’

Ya mums so fat she stepped of the curb I swerved my car around her and ran out of gas

Ya mums so fat shes on both sides of the family

Ya mums so fat her belt size is ‘Equator’

Ya mums so fat she stepped off a curb, a bus hit her so she turned around and said ‘Stop pushing’

Ya mums so fat she uses the driveway as an ironing board

I went for a 50 mile jog yesterday. 2 laps round ya mum

Ya mum’s so stupid jokes

Ya mum is so stupid she studied for a blood test

Ya mums so stupid she took a CD back to the shop because it had a hole in it

Ya mums so stupid she tried to drown a fish

Ya mums so stupid when she found out 90% of all crimes happened at home, she moved house

Ya mums so stupid when she was in a 99p shop she asked ‘How much is this’

Ya mums so stupid that when the bar tender said ‘Drinks are on the house’ she climbed up on the roof

Ya mums so stupid she called me to get my phone number

Ya mums so stupid she sent me a letter to get my address

Ya mums so stupid that she sits on the T.V and watches the sofa

Ya mums so stupid she got stabbed in a shootout

Ya mums so stupid thats she climb over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

Ya mums so stupid, she stole a free loaf of bread

Ya mums so stupid, she brought a giant spoon to the superbowl

Ya mums so stupid she tried to kill a bird by pushing it of a cliff

Ya mum is so stupid when she missed the 44 bus she took the 22 bus twice

Ya mum is so stupid she starved to death when she got trapped in a supermarket

Ya mum is so stupid she spent 30 minutes looking at an apple juice carton because it said “concentrate”

Ya mum is so stupid she tried to put M&M’s in aphabetical order

Ya mum’s so old jokes

Ya mums so old, her birth certificate reads ‘Expired’

Ya mums so old she sat next to Jesus in 3rd grade

Ya mums so old if I told her to act her age she would die…

Other Ya mum jokes

Ya mum is so ugly she shaves her arm pits with a lawn mower

Ya mums so greasy companies buy their Oil from her

Ya mums so ugli that even Prince Charming refuses to kiss her – he’d rather live as a frog

Ya mums so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone

Plz comment if you have anymore, and we will add them as quick as we can